missing: duggree ree's nipp0

so ive had a pretty successful intramural career even if it included me playing illegally for 2 seasons and coming back for 1 year as a staff member. ive won IM shirts in football, bball, vball, track, bench press, soccer, floor hockey, and bowling. but one sport has eluded me....always being stuck on crap teams and being mediocre at best, myself, was softball. i havent even come close. leaving my ut job, i knew this spring would be my last chance to win a softball championship, i planned on putting together a stacked asian team...or as stacked as one could imagine. i started asking ppl early on and felt pretty confident that i had a decently solid team, good enough to win at least the lowest of competition levels IM sports had to offer. the season began and i realized my team wasnt as good as i had imagined but nevertheless it was tons of fun and we all took it pretty lightly and goofed off. every game there was something that we all could make fun of like fraggles vega jump into the fence trying to catch a popup (yes he jumped into a fence while looking up at the ball....hilarious). then there was bensen's knack for getting into double plays and ending innings...or vacating his position at 2nd only to have the ball hit right to where he was supposed to be standing on the very next pitch. it was all fun and dandy until last night....where i got pwned.

last week on one of my more competitive teams, i am one of the weaklinks, and get put into right field where i hardly get any action. and when i stand out there i always imagined a ball getting hit far and out of reach and me sprinting and making a diving catch. right as i imagined it in my head...BAM...a ball comes soaring my way and its heading over my head to my left and i start haulin ass backwards for it into foul territory, lay out, full extension and snag it falling onto a pillowy patch of lush grass that feels like a cloud....no prob. dougs a badass.

so on the 'stacked' asian team that played last night, i play shortstop and was feelin pretty confident w/my fielding and still on a high from my diving catch. the game goes on and nothing is being hit my way and i grow bored. its a must win game for us to make playoffs and we are losing by 3. i wait and wait and wait...still nothing comes my way. runners on 1st and 2nd and FINALLY a ball gets hit up the middle just to my side of 2nd base. thinking im a fielding badass, i retardedly dive for the ball to try to end the inning only to completely miss and land directly on the dirt patch that surrounds the bag. as i dive my cut off shirt exposes my chest so my left boob is completely vulnerable to the wrath of the dirt and pebbles. instant...pain. i dont want to move. i dont care where the ball is or whats going on. it just feels like the skin on my chest got ripped off and more specifically my nipple. im seriously terrified to even look at my chest in fear of seeing a torn nipple or something not to mention embarrassed from suckage. i reluctantly look and only see a tiny spec of blood on the areola and thats it and im like whew thats not bad at all. but the shit still stings like crazy and i complain and complain but not too much bc its just a lil scratch right? the rest of the game i couldn't care less about the game....i give up. i sacrificed a boob and a nip i think i can call it a day.

i get home and take my shirt off and damn....i shouldve complained and bitched more bc it was worse than what i thought. i had originally taken a close up of the breast but it was too gross to post so i just give you the whole picture. you cant really tell but the scratches dont just stop at the nipple but they go all the way down to my waistline. but the nipple got the worst of it for sure. needless to say my shower was extremely painful and im sure i cried a little bit. if you would like to see the close up shot of the nipple you may request it but i promise you wont enjoy it or think it is funny. instead, you will just feel very very sorry for me. if youre at field 3 at whitaker around 2nd base please look for my nipple because i think its on the ground somewhere. ouchies. i usually dont like walking around w/o a shirt on even when im alone but i have no choice...the chaffing is unbearable. today at work ive walked around pulling my shirt away from my chest. w/no teeth and a destroyed nipple im sure that i have the worst luck ever. actually andy bernard from the office might have it worse than me but imma close second.